Expect excellence with your children

I posted this on a Homeschooler's group and was surprised on the number of likes it got. My purpose, was just to share an incident and yet I felt that the message was relevant and was particularly striking for most parents, homeschoolers or not. I do not see it as my own, but I feel that it is what the Lord is trying to convey to families that we should value excellence with our children.

Sharing this on my blog and I hope that this becomes a goal for our children. To take excellence as a way of life.

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I was a terror teacher today. I had my 10 year old narrate a chapter of his reading, Doctor Dolittle, by making a drawing of a scene. He made a drawing straight to a notebook and started drawing to no more than a minute and said "I'm done!!". Quite alarmed by the manner that he has finished it, I knew there was a lesson that I had to teach right that very instant - Excellence.

I told him excellence is not perfection. Excellence is putting your heart into something and making sure that it is the best that you could do on the task given to you. I asked him, "Is this your most excellent work?" He said, "no".

He was very upset when I told him that his work is not acceptable and I cannot ask him to use it for his narration. I had to literally tell him to drop all his other tasks for the day and make an EXCELLENT (not perfect) narration of the topic. Quite emotional but still focused on his work, he proudly showed me the other picture after an hour. Nothing too fancy really, but I was impressed as to how he added elements such as aluminum foil, construction paper and how excited he was when he showed me what he did. He was very proud of his own work as well.

I guess as homeschoolers, we can sometimes feel that we just have to go thru the day and tick off the things we need to finish for that day disregarding this precious value. But, if we value excellence and not mediocrity, we can see this reflected in our child as they grow. They will reflect the heart of our Father in heaven, for He is excellent in all His creation. So, yes - being a loving "terror" teacher could sometimes be necessary. #sorrylongpost #justsharing

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By the way, this conversation with my 10 year old also made an impression with his 5 year old younger sisters who heard about it.  My preschoolers were doing a copywork material which they despise. But, after they heard the lesson I spoke about with their big brother, their copywork were surprisingly excellent too!

Seeing this, I would rather prioritise and focus on good values over advancing leaps of academic advancement.

Full-time Job or Full-time Mom?

I love my time with my son

 I was just speaking to a very good mom friend of mine, who used to be in an 8+-hour job for 20 years. She said that when she traded off her career to become a full-time mom for her 2 kids she felt more accomplished than ever before.

Coming from someone who held a very good career in a well-known company in the world, a salary that is more than enough to support the family, and several other good career offers she was given even if she decided to resign from work - that is a breath of fresh air to someone who wants to be assured that there is life after letting go of job "security".

My twins proved that I can be blessed to love more!

Nowadays, there are more mothers needing to work because having a single income won't be enough to fill in all the expenses of the family.  History shows that divorce rate went up when women started working during the war and plunged down when the men went back home.  But, steadily moved up when women started working again and have to leave the children. Divorce affects families and the kids are the victims.

When moms are not with the children during their growing years, kids are not protected by the world.  They are like little birds without a mother in their nest. They learn to lead lives based on situations or what other people, peers, and the media would show them. They are independently away from the family. They tend to become busy themselves which they see from their parents. Parents fight or get into conflict out of fatigue and burnout of work and the kids see that it is okay to be mad and hurtful when someone is tired.

Mom's are guardians of her children's values.  The father may be out for work, but mother's are there for the children.

I am not pertaining to single mom's who cannot leave her job for her children. Some are wonderful and hardworking. Becoming both a father and a mother at the same time is not a simple job to do.

But, mom's who have more time for their 8+-hour job, have more coffee break, lunch and after-work conversations with her colleagues than her children or a mother of  a toddler left in the care of a nanny who hurts her child without even knowing it or her 10 year old who secretly hides that he is being bullied because he feels that he has to stand up for himself is something I feel so sad about.

We cannot leave our children in the wild if we are not there to show them how. I was watching a show how a family of Dingo (a wild dog that is native to Australia) and saw how the parents protect their young from an eagle who preys on little Dingos.  When the pups were little, they let them out during the day, hunts for them, feeds them. When night falls, they carry each one back inside their den. When the Dingos grew and were weaned out from the mom's milk, they were still there together with the parents but the parents are less weary now of the eagle knowing naturally that the Dingos can defend their own.  The eagle eventually, stopped stalking on them.  But, even this time, the dad was teaching them dominance and hunting instincts. As they grow to a little bit of an adult dingo, they moved out and started their own adventure without their parents.  Sounds unfamiliar now, right? Now, bullied kids are told by their parents to learn how to fend themselves without even showing them how.  They don't have anyone to look up to, so they find it on their own alone.

She can trust that mommy will be there to catch her

It was a big decision for me to decide to become a full-time mom. I worked in a 8+-hour job while my eldest was growing but I feel just blessed because my husband maintains a business that he can work at home and look after our son.  Leaving our children to a family member is a lot better than leaving them with a stranger.  But, we have to be aware also that we have to leave the disciplining to the family member when we, parent's are away.  We must also be aware, that the position of the husband (and even the mother) in disciplining tend to become less when the sharing of the disciplining is extended to other family members.  This starts conflict between marriages because the spouse would not always agree with the in-laws way in dealing with his own children and yet having to balance respect and conflict between them. So, the child disrespects his own parents and yet listens very well to grandma. Parents are tired and just ignore their child's attitude as they don't have the energy to deal with it.  When weekend comes, the family goes out without the grandparents, the child gets excited and throws a tanrtum. Finally, they come home feeling more tired than when they went home from work. So the mom concludes, I cannot be a full time mom.  I love my career and having to stay with my child 24/7 is definitely, not my thing.

It may not be financially fulfilling but money can never buy time - your child's time.

I cannot blame you, I felt that way. The more time you give to anything to whom you love the more it gives back to you. If you give more time to your work, the more you are rewarded - the more time you need to be in the office, the less time you will know your child.  But, the more you give to your child, the more you know his wants and dislikes, what works and what doesn't.  It is so funny, but I laugh now at the thought that my mom gets more tired of seeing me juggle 3 kids when I was just breezing through it.  I cannot blame her, she worked in an office till I was 13 and works-at-home till now. That is why, she has more fun enjoying her grandchildren.

Juggling 2 on both hands

I stand in a position that mothers are supposed to be the pillars of her children's values.  She should see her child grow not through pictures on her social media accounts or a baby picture on her office desk then suddenly realizes how big her little son has grown to be.  It would be nice that mothers know how to handle when her child is about to start a fit and can manage it right away.  Mothers should teach manners and independence in a loving way. She can withstand her children's annoying mess, spills to clean, cries and screams. After everything has been said and done of childhood, she finally lets him go. Being secured that she has brought up a person after God's own heart.

There is no wasted time to a full-time mom. She never feels like her kids are "just suddenly" growing so fast.  She is their witness of her children's life.  Opportunities open up to her like crazy doing a business she loves and the children gets to see meet people because of it and are more confident and well-mannered. She starts life at 4:30am and ends on time.

We are all tired, but the difference is how accomplished do you feel with your family and your time.

When I was once in my 8+ hours full time job I got this thought that made me decide to jump: I feel accomplished having to launch a really big project at work, we get a reward for the overtime work done. Rewarded with bonuses and promotions (sometimes, none). Although, during those times, my child got sick and I couldn't be there.  The guilt and the worry was more than doubled than when I can be with my child. That project was all gone and replaced, but what I still have now and forever will be my child and the rewards are tremendous. That wasn't a hard choice for me since then.

Live simply and you will never have to want anything more than what you need.

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If you are in a situation where it is in your heart to be a full-time mom but having to let go of your job will cause your family a big financial distress, then pray and let God direct your days to freedom.

On the other hand, if you are a full-time mom and the need to go back to full-time job is a necessity and not an escape from the chaos of home, then by all means - go! You will be wiser in dealing with your time and you know that family is priority.

On a different note, a full-time mom doesn't have to look sloppy and ugly.  Just because no one is going to see you, doesn't give you a license to turn into a hag-looking mother that smells like onions. Dress great, put on make-up, wear good shoes. Be beautiful inside and out.

Share your thoughts, can you relate with being a full-time mom or being a mom in a full-time job?

Teaching kids about money and my business-minded kid

Somehow, deep inside each one of us has a passion for something.  I believe, it is something unique God placed in every person. Each one, including a child is given one specific passion and a vision and it is us, parents who will help them seek for it, lead them to it and eventually encourage them to reach for that dream.

If you we're following my blog, I have seen my son's passion for planting since he was 3 years old (http://www.mamamiakiddos.blogspot.com/2011/09/growing-plants-is-good-for-teaching.html). He loves planting - he loves seeing things grow. His nanny planted 4 Malunggay (Moringa Oleifera) stems in front of our house and it started growing, my son waters his plants every morning when he wakes up and occasionally I see him talk to his plants. Aside from the thriving Malunngay, he already harvested melons, okras, tomatoes and bell peppers.  The other day, I surprised him with 2 packs of Cilantro and Sweet Pepper seeds I bought at the Supermarket. He was so happy, he kept hugging and kissing me for those seeds.

I might have found my son's passion which was clear to me as a mom when he turned 6.  He loves to plant and "collect" money out of things he make. My entrepreneurial son, started his business at the age of 5. He would make paper wallets and sell them to family and friends. At age 5, he knows how to count money faster than when he learned how to read. He was able to count his money (including coins) up to P1000+ (not just big bills). When I asked him what toy he would like to buy, he would say "nothing.  I just want a box where I can save all my money in".

He is contented with whatever he has and doesn't ask for toys or stuff except to let him watch TV or play on the computer - but that is mostly it.  He would even tell me not to buy so much things when we already have so much. Most of the time, he is the one who would help remind me not to buy things anymore. I taught him to be comfortable with money that at 2, I would let him play with a can full of coins.  He was just fascinated with the sound it makes when he drops it in his coin bank.  Of course, I made sure they are soaked in alcohol before I let him play with it and have a keen eye on him so he doesn't try to eat it.

Some parents see money as literally and figuratively dirty - I don't think so.  I think that kids should be taught the value of money.  Parents should not encourage kids that just because they have money - they can buy anything they want to buy with it.  It would be a good thing to proportionate things on the money they have.  Ex. if they have P1,000 - P500 for savings, P300 for something they want, P100 for giving to someone, P100 as tithes.

He showed me that his Malunggay are so healthy, they are growing some giant leaves!

The Malunggay started growing to a 3 ft leafy plant.  Then, it grew and grew until it was as high as our roof.  It went so high and thought it was becoming really ugly. I told my son that it doesn't look nice anymore especially having those Malunggay in front of our house and that we should chop it off soon so we can plant some nicer plants. He would always argue with me, begging that I shouldn't, because he loves them and all his other plant friends.

Then came a time that I needed to breastfeed twins and definitely needed all the Malunggay I could have! So, I postponed the day I would chop it off. Then, came neighbors who would one by one give P10.00 to buy some Malunggay leaves which excites my son even more.  Along came a regular buyer who pays P50.00 per week who gets the leaves to sell in the market and I get to somehow tell him to chop it off shorter so it doesn't grow as tall as our house. I am sure, my son was praying so I won't chop his malunggay trees.

The idea of having Malunggay in front of the house is such an eyesore to me.  This lowly plant is called a "poor man's plant".  This poor man's plant only grew in 3rd world countries and so they don't look very pleasing as an ornamental plant in a garden.

Months ago, my husband was rushed to the ER for hypertension of 150/110.  He was regularly at 120/90 but that time it was way too high. It really worried me that I wanted a change or diet and lifestyle for my family.  My kids' weren't eating veggies or even if they do, I know it isn't enough to say they are getting enough. I heard about Wheatgrass but it was so expensive so I researched for something that is of the same nutritional value of that of Wheatgrass (or Barley) - then came this miracle vegetable - the Malunggay!

He insists on putting his own product to his food. He really loves it - he kept telling me that it is his magic potion. There are even days he would tell me to make sure there is his "magic potion" to his snack food in school.

I told Ice that what was planted in our garden is something that could help other people. I also told him if he wants to make it as his full-blown business, although it isn't going to be simple and if he wants it to grow... he needs a lot of patience (which he does). I also encouraged him that he should also try it so when he shares it to people he knows all about it.

We started to harvest some leaves, removed the wilted/yellowish leaves, washed them thoroughly with mineral water and dried them. I then, made it into a powder and placed it in a salt shaker. We put a dash of malunggay powder into every meal and my husband brings his own malunggay shaker to work. My husband's BP lowered, me and my kids are getting a good dose of veggies and most importantly... it doesn't hurt our pocket and yet my son gets to have his passion for planting and reaping all it's monetarily reward by just simply enjoying it.

He opened his 1st bank account solely from his own profit from the sales of his Malunggay business (not money from mom or dad!).

So, today... we went to the bank and he started to open his own bank account from the income he got from his little, growing business!

My son is selling his Power Malunggay (he was the one who named it) per pack of Malunggay Powder for P100 (fits 1 regular pepper shaker).

My little entrepreneur - working!
There is only 1 condition so he can do this - study (and finish his homework 1st) then business. That is his main goal for now. 

I am only his worker, marketer and his packaging designer. He grows the Malunggay and harvests them.  So, every Malunggay Powder you get is filled with love and devotion from a little child named - Ice!

Some info about this Power Malunggay:

• 7x the Vitamin C in Orange
• 10x more Antioxidant than any other vegetable.
• 4x the Vitamin E in Corn Oil
• 17x the Calcium in Milk
• 4x the Vitamin A in Carrots
• 6x the Amino Acids in Garlic 
• 2x more Polyphenol in Red Wine
• 2x more Protein in Meat 
• 5x more Fiberous than any common vegetable
• 2x more the iron in pork liver and ampalaya
• 3x more the potassium in Banana
• 50x more the Vitamin B in peanuts and in fish

Who could have missed this powerful blessing from God. I also feel blessed having a son who has the heart to be an investor.

You can shoot us a message if you would like to try Power Malunggay for your family. I am sure, you'll be delighted seeing your kids eat veggies everyday without even realizing they are actually eating one.

Timeout: Disciplining in a loving way

One morning when I left my 2 year old twins in the play room as they watch their favorite show "Annie", I heard a sudden burst of scream from D. Being their mom, I knew already what that cry meant... C either bit or hit D.

I came in the room, all relaxed and saw C hugging D and telling her "I love you, I love you...D" while D was screaming at C and pushing her away. I asked C what she did. All she could do is to look at me in the eye and waiting for me to tell her to sit her in her time out chair. I know that C bit D because C wanted to change the show. D came to stop C from changing the DVD (Yes, she knows how to operate the player). Since C wants her way, and D's arm was on her way... she launched for a snap!

I discipline my kids differently but in the same manner. They have different personalities and different ways to catch their heart. I don't discipline when I am mad or just to prove a point. I discipline to understand them.

It's funny,  how different my discipline style is with my 3 kids. When they were 2.5 and I would tell them not to touch the lamp. It goes this way...

To big brother - emotional and factual/scientific way, "I! Don't touch the lamp. That will hurt you because there's electricity (yes, he knows what electricity it at 2.5). Electricity can give you a big boo boo and blood will come out. Mommy will cry if that happens. I will be so, so sad!" Then, that's it! He never did touch any lamp or even electric socket, ever!"

With my twins:

C, the clever, learn-by-actual-experience girl - "C, I saw that! I know that looks nice. But, oh my! If you touch that and you touch this part... see this hot, hot lamp (letting her touch it a bit just so she feels)? If no one's here and you suddenly touch it - boom! My, it is hotter than mommy's coffee cup, remember?" C would look at me and say "hot? lamp?" Then, she gets it.

D, my assertive, no-is-yes girl - "D! uh uh uh.. please don't touch it. (she still touches it). D?! What did mommy... (then slaps the lamp even more). I said don't touch it (slaps it again even harder). No other way or explanation but just to pull her away from the lamp - she gets it anyway.

I heard of many stories wherein moms publicly spanking them right in front of everybody or even giving them a time out in a restaurant. Would you like your boss doing the same way to you in a professional way? :)

If you ask me if I do spanking, yes and no. Like what I said, each kid is unique and different. I've spanked my eldest 3x eversince and now he's older, we have resolved things through time out. Discipline is not only spanking and time out. I don't do that just when I feel like it but, if needed - it's done right away in a hidden place where no one would even know it ever happened.

Between me and my husband, we have decided that I do the more invasive discipline. We have levels of ways to discipline. But, I never discipline something that was not yet clear and set from the beginning. Ex. if we go out and I always tell them the agenda, if anything out of that agenda happened that wasn't yet cleared out with them (ex. accidentally shopping for myself and we all know how boring that is for them) then, suddenly a child turn in a tantrum. I have no right to discipline them but I have to stop and reassure her that we're going to a place we've planned. So, everything should be clear with them. Otherwise, the levels of discipline goes:

1. Calm verbal reminder. Ex. "I hope you remember our rule, you cannot eat candies at night."
2. Creative, Firm Verbal Reminder Ex. "C, I know you want to eat candies tonight. But, candies will make you jump and jump the entire night. It's not fun! How about if you help me make milk, it's like helping mom make my coffee."
3. Firm Reminder Ex. "C, I told you the rule and you know it. No Candies at night! If you don't like that-it's still a no."

Normally, at that level... we don't go into the 4th level anymore. They would either cry just a bit, look for someone who could allow them (which generally, everybody knows my rule), or they would just say "Alright." Then go do something else.

We do time-out or meet Mr. Spanky, only at intentional rule breakers ex. Biting, pushing, disobedience, lying/making up stories, impatiently wanting to do something that I have already 100x said No. 

These are things that I will never spank them with:

1. Insisting to eat candies/food that are not allowed to be eaten
2. Accidents (like, accidentally spilling milk)
3. Not keeping still while you dress/undress them or change their nappies.
4. Spilling food/ milk/ spit ups on your nice dress
5. Accidentally hitting another child because of physical self-defense

We are their parents and not because they are small we can dictate what we want. Discipline is not just spanking or shouting. That is the last and final resort and must never use your own hand or any part of your body to get your message across. Kids are smart and they can understand very well.


This works for my family and my rule is, if I said it then it is. I don't change or sway my decision. The only problem is, when there are people like family, grandparents, siblings, friends who try to act like a saviour when you are trying to discipline your child. You have to tell them to leave you because, if you cannot grab the heart of a child now you or nobody in your family will ever win his/her heart when he grows up. Eventually, his friends will become his family and you will become his/her enemy. Although, deliberately spanking them unnecessarily also constitutes to being rebellious.


Pray to be a more creative parent to discipline your children so you are only set to stop on the 1st level.


How about you? How do you handle when your child has tantrums in public?

My 101 Checklist to do with my toddler (and yours too)

Keeping and sharing this list so I know what other things to do next... Check means done with all 3 kids. As I read those we've done, it made me want to do them all over again. :)

1. Color - check!
2. Blow Bubbles- check!
3. Play Hide-and-Seek - check!
4. Peek-a-Boo - check!
5. Play Chase - check!
6. Do Finger-plays - check!
7. Sing a song - check!
8. Collect rocks in a basket
9. Make an obstacle course out of cushions and/or furniture - check!
10. Make a fort out of cushions and sheets - check!
11. Go for a Walk - check!
12. Make a Car out of a Box - check!
13. Read a book - check!
14. Go to the park - check!
15. Finger-paint - check!
16. Play with Play-Dough - check!
17. Toss Bean bags into a Bucket - check!
18. Play the shell and pea game
19. Dance to music - check!
20. Download games for toddlers from the Internet - check!
21. Practice putting things in and taking things out of boxes and bags - check!
22. Make a temporary slide out of a table leaf and your couch - check!
23. Roll a ball back and forth on the floor - check!
24. Scoop dirt or sand into a child's bucket (or use a serving spoon and bowl) - check! (just sand! what mess...)
25. Practice climbing by stacking boxes on top of each other (only with adult supervision) - check! scary!
26. Put on a puppet show - My next project!
27. Go fishing with a yard stick and yarn - check!
28. Make a Horseshoe game
29. Make a Shape Puzzle - check!
30. Play paper basketball - check!
31. Run through a Sprinkler - ooohhh! I want this!
32. Play with a bucket of water and a sponge (PLEASE WATCH CHILD AT ALL TIMES!)
33. Make a Drum out of an oatmeal box
34. Play with a kazoo
35. Wash windows together
36. Bang on Pots and Pans with a spoon - check!
37. Brush each other's teeth - aww... sweet!
38. Play dress-up with stuffed animals and your child's clothes - check!
39. Stack canned or boxed food on top of each other - check!
40. Let child stack mixing bowls inside each other - check!
41. Make a playhouse out of a large box
42. Let child play with a sticker sheet (make sure your child doesn't eat them!) - check!
43. Put stickers on fingers for finger puppets - check!
44. Play a musical instrument together- i.e.recorder, piano, etc. - check!
45. Go on a Smelling Hunt - check!
46. Frost Cookies
47. Plant a flower or vegetable plant together - check! (not yet with the twins)
48. Roll a tennis ball into an empty trash can or bucket - check! (did with marbles)
49. Draw on a mirror with dry-erase markers - check! (but with whiteboard)
50. Play hide and seek together- trying to find a stuffed animal or other object
51. Have a splash party together in the bathtub - check! (in a baby pool!)
52. Put a leash on a stuffed animal and walk around the house - check! haha! this was funny!
53. Record each other on a tape recorder (great for scrapbooks or journals!) - check! with Photobooth on my Mac!
54. Make and try on paper hats
55. Give a piggy-back ride - check! Had a weeks' back pain!
56. Play "Horsey" - check!
57. Talk into an electric fan (it distorts your voice) - check! oh my... we went crazy!
58. Play tug-of-war with a blanket -  - check!
59. Collect flowers (felt, artificial, real...) - check!
60. Make a camera and go on a Safari
61. Play games with frozen juice lids - check!
62. Disconnect your phone and pretend to make phone calls to relatives - check! even with fax!
63. Leave your phone connected and really make phone calls to relatives- let your child talk too - check!
64. String large beads onto or along a shoelace - check!
65. Squirt each other with squirt bottles - check! with spray bottles!
66. Glue shapes onto paper - check!
67. Make sock puppets - check!
68. Make paper puppets - check!
69. Fill an old purse with toys
70. Use a paper towel tube as a megaphone - check!
71. Make binoculars and go "Bird Watching" or "Stuffed Animal Watching" - check!
72. Put snacks in different fun containers (paper sacks, empty canisters, etc.)
73. Act out a story from a book - check!
74. Walk on a balance beam- use a 2x4 placed on the ground
75. Draw with chalk on the sidewalk - check!
76. Sketch an outline of your child on the sidewalk or paper with chalk - check! (on Manila Paper)
77. Paint child's palms with tempura paint and blot on paper. Makes a great card for loved ones! - check! almost everyday!
78. Put lipstick on child and kiss a mirror - check! even on my cheeks (only with the twins)
79. Make a puddle on cement and splash barefoot in it - check! (with Ice)
80. Let child decorate and eat an open peanut butter sandwich
81. Make a toilet paper barricade for child to go under, over, or through
82. Do the Hokey Pokey - check!
83. Make a super-hero costume out of household items
84. Do Knee-Bouncing Rhymes - check!
85. Play "Red Light, Green Light" saying "Go" and "Stop" - check!
86. Make a shoe-box train for stuffed animals
87. Make a pillow pile to jump on (keep it clear from any hard surfaces, including walls!) - check!
88. Make an easy puzzle with felt and Velcro - check! (I have the shapes on velcro!)
89. Make bracelets or collars for stuffed animals out of pipe cleaners and jingle bells - check!
90. Learn numbers from a deck of cards - check!
91. Play the matching game with a deck of cards
92. Make a domino chain - check! fun!
93. Have a picnic in the park, backyard, or living room!
94. Play dress up in Mommy or Daddy's clothes - check!
95. Make a tin cup telephone and talk to each other in it -
96. Make a nature collage
97. Mirror each other - check!
98. Make a "Mummy Mommy" with toilet paper - check! mess!
99. Make a tape recording of short music selections and instructions to move in different ways - check!
100. Make and walk along a toilet paper trail
101. TAKE A NAP! - check!

25 Manners Kids Should Know by Age 9

I saw this in an article in Parents Magazine (March 2011).  This is such a comprehensive list for kids, but then it would also be a good thing for adults to practice.

Just to prelude on manners which I'd like to add.  Someone told me to teach kids to pre-code phrases when they would ask to go to the bathroom for some bowel movement breaks.  I would teach my kids not to use the "pee" or "poo" word when we're out (especially in a restaurant) and they needed to go. Instead, they'd say  "I'll do no. 1" for pee or "No. 2" for poo.

I really do personally find it distracting to hear a 4 year old shouting to her mom "I need to poop, mom!" when you are about to indulge in a delectable brown saucy steak. But, if they say "Mom, I have to do number 2" it is a lot better.

Anyway... here are the 25 Manners Kids Should Know by Age 9.  Emphasis on the underlined. :)

Manner #1
When asking for something, say "Please."

Manner #2
When receiving something, say "Thank you."

Manner #3
Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

Manner #4
If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.

Manner #5
When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.

Manner #6
The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.
Manner #7
Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.

Manner #8
When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.

Manner #9
When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.

Manner #10
Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.

Manner #11
When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.

Manner #12
Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.

Manner #13
Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.

Manner #14
Don't call people mean names.

Manner #15
Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.

Manner #16
Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.
Manner #17
If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."

Manner #18
Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.

Manner #19
As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.

Manner #20
If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.

Manner #21
When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.

Manner #22
When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!

Manner #23
Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.

Manner #24
Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.

Manner #25
Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed. 

On a side note: It is always a Monkey see, monkey do.  I myself do fail at times on this but well... we are still a work in progress with these manners.  Though, I do intend to practice this.  People appreciate good manners.

Moms are the best teachers!

Blessed with 3 beautiful little people that changed my world

When I decided to place my eldest son to a Montessori-based school, I know right at the beginning that I was at peace with it from the inside. Somehow, I felt I don't need to be too pressured with

1. just wrongly believing that homeschool is the ONLY way to teach! Of course not, it isn't always the school, it is also the parents responsibility.
2. finding the "perfect school" that matches with my belief for my children - if there's peace in it, it simply mean it doesn't always have to match any religious belief I have with the school.  God loves my children regardless of where they are.
3. feeling that my children might be too pressured with school work and lose their freedom on enjoying their childhood - nope!

Although, pulling my son out of regular school and doing homeschool and deciding to place him back to a Montessori-based school was a personal choice.  That choice wasn't because of any social or spiritual "boundary" belief like most people I knew felt that it was my basis for homeschooling. No, it was plainly - a choice.  A choice on the specific season my son needed to be.

I have entirely no problem about having my children deal with the world they live in when I decided to homeschool them. As a matter of fact, that was the main reason I love homeschool.  I do not want them to be stuck in their little classrooms for more than 6 hours a day and having to deal with the same people everyday.  With homeschool, kids have so many time to socialize and see the world more because of the freedom of time they have.

With my choice, I have gained insights out of it. Education is not just getting high grades, being advanced in this and that, comparing what your child can do and other's couldn't.  Education is not a race, it is actually a marathon.

I felt lousy as a mom when I brought my son to his 1st school, I really thought since he was just 3 that time, he can just be whatever he knows he could be.  He is anyway, very advanced for his age, he knows all his letters, numbers, and shapes from circles to pentagons at 2 (at 3 months old, I was reading and counting to him and bombard him with educational videos!). I thought, it was alright for him to be occasionally tardy, absent or simply - not to be too serious with school.  My only concern was to pay for the tuition fee or extra-curricular activities, make sure he has the best snack, or just not flunk his exams.  Every Parent Teacher Conference that time was a breeze, that Ice was alright, he's okay, he's a sweet little boy.  So, I went home thinking feeling okay as well.  It was just pre-school, anyway.

This continued into kindergarten.  But, at a PTC, the teacher mentioned that Ice was lagging.  He doesn't know the letters, couldn't write well and thus needed a tutor!  I was shocked when I heard this. My smart son has totally changed from a little whiz kid to someone who was almost the least of his peers?!  I was pressured to talk to Ice (to ask a 4 year old, what's wrong is not a very good idea.  At 4, everything in life is wonderful!). I blamed it on everyone else but not with myself.  I was wrong.

Looking back, I felt it was nobody's responsibility but myself.  I was too busy with my day job and too tired to help my child.  I've simply forgotten that even a preschooler needed to do reviews at least 2-3 times per week.  To cultivate a routine of studying and that 30 minute after-school tutorials won't do him any good forever.

I decided to slow things down for him.  Homeschooled him and left my busy life to just partially busy (I worked-at-home).

I realized, my son needed a mom (or at least a loving person) who is fully dedicated to start his life about studying.  Knowing the ABCs and 123s doesn't end when they know it. It is simply the beginning of their life and yours.

Kids do not run on auto-pilot.  They need wings - sturdy wings to help them get through the turbulence.  They need a mom or someone to teach them to fly so they can learn to fly on their own. It all begins at pre-school or at an age that they start to become curious with their world.

My son needed me to find his weakness and his strengths. To have someone check on him and not to compare him with other kids.  I am reminded of this verse,

Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. Proverbs 1:8 (NIV)

Mother's are natural teachers (Father's are great life application leaders).  It is my season to be a mother, it is my season to teach.  It is not my season to pressure him to ALWAYS (with no reservations) have high grades or be in the honor roll.  But, just to know what he is aiming for and direct him of what he wants to achieve.  To know where he is weak and to find a way to divert that weakness into strength.

I remembered, 3 weeks ago.  My son went home very sad because for the very 1st time he got 1/5 on one of their weekly spelling quiz (normally, he would either get 3/5 or 4/5).  Memorisation is a struggle with us already - more so, with Spelling (dang it!).  That's why we would review at least 3 days before the quiz for 10-20 minutes per day with all the means to make him remember it (I can just imagine!).  But, on this specific quiz we have only reviewed the night before. So I knew, that he isn't going to get a high grade for it, then it did happened.  I knew he did his best when I saw his answers and he was totally devastated.  He said "Mom (with a very sad voice).  I got a low score... Mom, I only got 1/5". I looked at him and all I could say was, "I don't mind.  I am happy with the correct one you did."  His face lit up, he still felt bad.  Then I told him "C'mon, because of that 1 point you got correctly, you deserve a prize!" He was confused but he lit up a bit.  Then I gave him his favorite - 3 pieces of cherries and that made him feel a lot better.  Of course, deep inside of me I felt I failed my son but thank God, God gave me 3 cherries too. :) The next week, we studied spelling and guess what - he got a perfect score for the very 1st time! We we're both hugging and kissing like slugs glued in together the entire afternoon.

It's a roller coaster ride teaching my memory-challenged little boy.  While I am starting with the twins, I am more certain now.  That my greatest achievement in life is to know each one of them.  I just praise God that He has given me (and all mothers) the capacity to teach with love unconditionally (if you would let it).  Although, Ice and I had many (a whole loooot) of crying moments in teaching (I am not the most patient mom).  But, I try to be the mom I am for them.

I still work because it is my passion.  I do get tired (really tired, well who doesn't) with juggling things but I move on because I know that every time spent with my child is time invested for his/her future.

Happy teacher's day, moms! And to all the teachers who teach with a heart (not to hurt), thank you for your love, it is your day as well.

I am very serious when I teach him, I hope I don't overuse it.
I do pray to have extra patience, right now!

PS. Ice got 94% in Language, 97% in Math and 93% in Cultural Arts in his exam.  I almost cried, I felt that wow! I can really teach! :) It was a reward for me as well.  I am one proud, Mama Mia!

Growing plants teaches kids about sowing and reaping!

It all started with this...

Awhile ago, I heard Ice crying unconsolably when he found out that his Okra Plant was chopped off by our maid. She decided to cut it off because the plant tipped off because there were so many Okras already that it couldn't carry the weight.  I got irritated at her because she didn't ask my son that she'd chop it off.  Well, she doesn't know my son so well so I just let this slip for now.  I saw how much my son owned and loved his tiny farm that it didn't bother him one bit even if the same Okra plant scarred his fingers from its tiny almost invisible thorns just the other day.  Chopping it off was not his plan to get even - he just love those plants unconditionally.

At 4, my son started planting when he got some Red Bell Pepper seeds he found while I was cooking.  He started asking about how it grows, etc. etc.  He started to plant them in our tiny garden and miraculously, w/o much of our effort or actually expecting it to grow - it did! Ice named that plant "stingy".  I don't know why, perhaps it was because it was pointy and it looked like a stingy little face.

This started his love to grow plants.  When the twins were born, and I needed a huge amount of Malunggay (Moringa) for breastfeeding the twins, Ice and her nanny planted 2 feet high, leafless, malunggay bark.  I didn't expect it to grow really... but with Ice - it did, again!

Then his little farm started to grow Melons, Kangkong, Okras, even Tomatoes (tricky fruit) and Papayas (which I asked to chop down since I dreaded to imagine since it was so high, the fruit might fall on his head).

Okra's for you! Look at those proud smiles!

Every morning, after waking up from his bed, he'd go to his plants, water them, talk to them or just stare at them.  When he wouldn't be able to water them, he would remind his nanny to water them in the afternoon.

What is more exciting is that, with his patience and love for his plants... he has harvested several fruits and veggies that form part of some of our food.  The best part it was organically grown, no chemicals but pure 100% love and dedication froma 6 year old.

What I saw in my son, is that he has grown to love nature. He has found ways to let off a boring day by watching his plants grow.  He learns the idea of waiting patiently.  He also has learned the idea of delayed gratification through seeing his plants grow from tiny flowers then buds to become fruits which he can later on enjoy (He loves the Melons he harvested).  He has also learned the idea of seed, time and harvest. As well as the basic principles of sowing and reaping.

It was so easy to fill in the Word when your child sees that what he takes care of - grows and what you don't - dies.

Meet Stingy's little sprout - Stingy Jr.

Even with the bigger concept of this, his dad showed him the farm that his grandfather has in the province.  The rice field and another unused farm that used to be his great grandfather's farm.  Ice told his dad "Dad, why don't we make this land useful? Let's grow plants here so that we wouldn't need to buy food and spend money in buying and buying food.  Food is expensive, you know!"

Planting is a good tool to speak to a child's heart.  Besides, unlike pets that needs so much attention, plants are just standing there waiting for some simple 5-10 minutes of TLC and that is it.  Some simple fruit bearing plant (in a pot, would do) is a good starting point.  Watch how excited they'll be when they see tiny fruits growing, even some tiny worms around it will help you inject some ideas that worms are not gross - that every living creature is important and has a specific role to play even how hideous they seem to look in our eyes.

Ice understands the value of work.  That money doesn't just grow on trees! But, it comes from hardwork.  The same way he does when he would take care of his plants and watch them grow.  My son got a deeper concept of this that he wanted to (and has begun) growing his own farm business (and new ideas with it).  Presently, he has sold Malunggay from neighbors.

But, most importantly... he has learned that everything he touches is blessed because of Jesus.  I am actually amazed how he grows this w/o even spending so much time and effort (but with believing and dedication to the joy of work) -  I believe that is grace and favor on my little farmer boy.

Twin Shock - tips on how to alleviate it

It is real and inevitable. Twin shock comes after you bring them home from the hospital and will last till about they are 12 months of age.

I had no one who can actually tell me the best way to handle 2 newborn babies at the same time.  My only background was with my firstborn singleton son.

The 1st few days after we brought them home were freaking nights of nightmare.  As I believe entirely in attachment parenting,  following babies cue, no strict rules or schedule, birth bonding, and some of it.  I knew that I could actually do that with my twins - but to my surprise I wasn't all okay for twins at all.

During the 1st few days I literally had no sleep at all.  I was bottle feeding at night with formula, pumping my milk at day which even if I save some, the twins would eventually finish it off 2 hours after I pump, so I pump again and do direct feeding with the other, pump again and do direct feeding after doing this, I was literally almost about to snap.  I was so tired doing all those just so I could stop them from crying and still following their cues.

Then I figure.. so, this is twin shock.  I believe, even new moms (especially dads) would feel this in their own way.  After the peaceful new marriage, honeymoon and an excited pregnancy... here goes the new baby who needs all the love and attention from the world.

After a few weeks, I realize one thing.  Newborns need structure and flexible routine but with twin babies, this is such a novelty.

I advocate reasonable attachment parenting, meaning... I don't agree with letting it cry it out, but I do let my kids sleep on their own cribs/beds and let them sleep on their own.  I also don't agree with putting babies in scheduled milk patterns, I do believe that when infants cry it would either just be hungry, need change/uncomfortable, too much stimulus, just want a cuddle or is sick.

But, with twin... it is entirely almost impossible to do attachment parenting when you are still attending to one baby while the other is already needing a feed or something else.  I have learned to just calm myself down, let her cry a little bit more while the other twin finishes her milk.  It is extremely hard because, with my eldest son... I have never let him cried so hard because I am there right where he even starts to cry.

Well, that is how it is with twins and that is one thing a twin mom/parent would experience - to be very systematic and a multi-tasker! Keep calm and just carry on - is the key!

Another twin-shock stoppers would be to trying to complicate things! When the twins we're still twinfants, I kept a milk journal which I also made sure that my nanny would strictly write on it.  Otherwise, it is war!  You have to know when, who was fed the last time and how much.  With my twins, one is a weak feeder unlike the other.  So the milk journal keeps me sane!

To simplify things, I have also stopped using different utensils with them. When they started their solids, I would make a huge batch of their weekly meal, freeze them and feed it to them.  I initially used separate spoons to feed them to a point that it would just fall off the floor and make a huge mess.  Later on, 1 spoon and 1 feeding bowl and even sippy cup would do well.  Anyway, why should I be too anxious on sharing when they almost literally share everything they play on, move and breathe on.

I have also used different colored bottles for them to know which bottle is whom.  Until now, it is a perpetuating confusion which bottle belongs to.  Good thing, rubber bands around the neck works with similar looking bottles.  What is more complicated now is I use a lactose-free milk for the other twin because she has a milk allergy.  So, we even needed to buy a different kind of milk dispenser for that.  Be prepared for anything like it.

Another twin shock is twin rivalry!  The most important thing is, never take sides or never have a favorite, least favorite twin.  They may look the same but each one is unique and beautiful in their own way.

When you experience twin shock, just go out for awhile (I do this, around 5 minutes). Go out of the house and just let it all out there for awhile then come back inside once again to your babies!