Handwriting problems using Handwriting Without Tears

When my son came home from his summer school when he was 5.6 years old, he gave this card to me.

Ice at 5.6

With 2 years of pre-school before that 2-week summer play school, his teachers were telling me about the huge problem on his handwriting, pencil grip, reversals of letters, and left/right handwriting confusion. I thought, this was not a big deal.

A few days after summer school, I went to the school and saw a bulletin board with works of some 3-4 year olds, I saw my son's work and that alarmed me - my almost 6 year old's handwriting is awful.

I asked the teachers on how we could brush up his skills. They advised us to do lots of copywork, after-school tutorials, use pencil grippers or check if he was left-handed (he uses his right hand to write) - importantly, just make him WRITE. But, my son just hated to write! Just asking him to write his first name makes him so stressed and doesn't know how to copy anything. My son was frustrated and so was I.

The Lord told me that I need to stop comparing and being frustrated with my son.  Education is not who finishes first or being the best on one or two things, but what one learns through the process. God showed me, that he made me a mother and am the only physical being to really help and teach my son more effectively. So, he opened my heart for the very first time to homeschool.

When I began homeschooling, that meant, giving up my beloved 9-12 hour work and be a work-at-home mom. It was hard to give up something you love, but my son and kids were all worth it.

At 5, this is the way he colors the trees and monkeys.
The strokes on his letters are like of a 3 year old.

I've met with veteran homeschoolers when I shared my heart to them about homeschooling. One mom, shared to me about Sonlight. I bought an entire curriculum P4/5 with K readers, Singapore Math and most importantly, Handwriting Without Tears set.

They have other handwriting sets but I chose this because it was meant to correct reversals and does not follow the "dot to dot" letter practice.  If you will get the Teacher's guide, you will get more tips on how to use their 2-lined paper, priper letter strokes, Mat Man activities and many others. 

I learned that dot to dot letter formation won't make the child focus on the stroke of the letter because it will just make them focus on the dots that they follow.  

HWOT (Handwriting Without Tears) focuses on each letters stroke, even if your child has no issues on handwriting, using this as a handwriting curriculum will help them control their letter reversals which is very common to preschoolers to 1st grade.  I am also using this to my 5 year old twin girls and though, the other twin shows very strong tripod grip (as I have already started them with lots of fine motor by 12 months), HWOT still helped her with her letter reversals, letter formations and spacing of words and letters.  This is also very helpful with my left handed child who had severe letter reversals and was writing in complete mirror image of words. This was all corrected with HWOT.

Before going into Handwriting without Tears, my son had lots of trouble with the way he traces the letters.  Handwriting is a skill that has to follow a certain kind of stroke per each letter to prevent reversals. Which my son so struggled with.  This style above was a copywork activity without any strokes taught to a child.  This style won't work all the time esp. for kids struggling with handwriting.

We began homeschooling using Sonlight - P4/5.  I have researched about handwriting problems with children and Handwriting Without Tears (http://www.hwtears.com) was my choice.  I included the 4 volume books of Developing the Early Learner (http://www.sonlight.com/PR01.html)  on our curriculum as well, which made a big significance on my son's interest in puzzles yet having to master Motor-skills, Visual, Problem-solving and Auditory skills.

For a year, I focused on my 5 year old's reading and handwriting.  I saw big improvements just doing 1 year of Handwriting without tears. From a non-writer to an avid story writer (I was still his scribe, during that time).

This was one of our 1st activities.  He was already in K, yet I needed to do "letter of the week" for him.  I let him practice strokes and lines and we only did 1 letter per week for this.  We did not exceed for more than 15 minutes otherwise he just gets tired.

Our first few activities was to focus on pencil grip and mastering the tripod grip.  We sang a song from HWOT CD "Where do you start your letter? On the top!" (from the Handwriting Without Tears book) and a lot of gripping and holding activities.  We did that for 2 weeks then moved on to worksheets.

After an activity, I would let him check his work by putting a circle on the best-looking letter/s he made.

He knows how to write but only up to his nickname (ICE), beyond that, he would scribble and doodle. I did not allow him to do copy work yet, even though we had to, if we follow the curriculum.  I never rush on things, just letting him flow through it and we only moved when he is ready for the next.

Below are some activities we did during the year and you can see how he has improved a lot in that year alone.

This is the beauty of homeschooling. If I let him go to Prep (K) that time, we will just be as frustrated as a mother in waiting for labor. Even if we had to write 1 letter a week (he actually, got the hang of it, and in just 3 months- we were already writing an entire paragraph). 

 would put markings and honestly tell him parts that fell over the lines that he needed to correct next time.  The orange dots were his only guide on where to begin his letter stroke.

After some time, I slowly introduced how to write his name.  You can see that though, some lines were still  a bit crooked as he was still mastering a stronger grip, his name looks a lot better in just a month and a half.

When I introduce a new lesson to him.  I would use a highlighter and would show him how to do the strokes.  After which, he would write over the highlighted letters and finished it.  Then, I would give him a space to do without the highlighted letter by just giving him a highlighted point on the starting stroke of the 1st letter of the word.

We did sentence case for his name.  I had a hard time asking him to finish just this page, but with encouragement and lots of praises, he was able to finish it.  It took him like 3 minutes per name and he got really tired doing so but, bravely, he did.

Since then, I have always asked him to write his first name (and not just writing his 3 letter nickname) on all his worksheets.  I was so proud of him seeing his improvement on this.  This was just after 3 months.

Since, he loves math and we do Singapore Math, t was easier to introduce him to number writing.  This was the time, he had more patience finishing an entire page.  He finished this in about 30 minutes, after that.  We took a break right away after an entire page of activity.

Getting there...

Now, without any number templates.  This was introduced after 5 months and he has quickly picked it up in 3 weeks.

Introduced, sentences and simple copy work which he found terribly boring.  But, lots of praises were his drive to finish this task.  So, from 30 minutes a page.  We were now cut to 15 minutes doing this.

6 months prior to this, my son had no interest whatsoever in drawing or writing. He would never go get a pen or even draw.  I never experienced seeing any drawings on any wall of our house (that was clear, he had no interest in writing). But, just after those 6 months he has learned to be more confident in writing.  He made drawings everyday, every hour of the day.  He grabs a paper and gave me cards.  In a span of just 3 months, he finished a ream of recycled paper I bought for him.  It was just like a light bulb just switched "on" him.

One of our story elaboration activity.  I asked him to draw while I become his scribe.

Just 6 months doing Handwriting without Tears and Developing the Early Learner - I suddenly have a very artistic son.

We finished his curriculum and I was confident of his writing skills more than ever in just a year of focusing on my son.  When he turned 6, we enrolled him in a Montessori-based school.  

I had to work again full-time and so after praying for a school that will best suit his learning style, God showed us the school for him.

We enrolled him to K (or Prep), and he was 6 that time.  We went school hopping and the school where he is now was the one we peacefully have chosen.  But, when I got in the classroom during a school tour I saw a Calligraphy board and asked if they will teach that to kids in pre-school.  The teacher said, yes.  They start at K (Prep) and it is called the Monstessori Style of Calligraphy (not cursive).  They said, they follow Maria Montessori's belief that Calligraphy is the most natural way of writing.  I was so worried!  I pulled-out my child to teach a year on his writing and then... calligraphy for a 6 year old?  Even then, we let it a try.

My son wrote that?!

After 1-2 quarters of the school year, I saw more improvement with my son's handwriting.  At first, he got too overwhelmed but since he loves his school - he was able to do more than expected.

Just 4 months, he was writing really well. More comfortably and a better grip.  But, it was evident that the style we learned in a year of homeschool was still evident in his strokes.

His drawing was not so bad as well for someone who used to struggle in handwriting.
He was 6.5 at this time. 

Then, another setback came on him.  His Calligraphy was pulling him down because it was a totally different stroke that he has never mastered.  But, because I told him the history of Calligraphy, he got excited.  Since, I used to write Calligraphy during my college days and love typography art as well.  I showed him great works of people who write really good. That nailed it and gave him a reason to write beautifully.

For his entire Grade 1, his handwriting uing calligraphy was just as horrible as when we started handwriting! But, rather than feeling so depressed on this again, I praised him and practiced using HWOT 2-lined paper and showed him proper strokes based on it.

His grades were still wonderful inspite the trouble with his writing.

Now, my son is 8 and in Grade 2. He once showed me his notes and told me "Mom, teacher placed a note on my notebook and said 'Very nice calligraphy'." I said, "can I see it?".  When I saw his handwriting, I almost cried.  My son is now free.

Defeating his dragon!

Each child is unique and have a different set of timing in his way to learn things.  Some are early learners while some needs more time.  There are some who are good in 10 things and weak in 1 or the other way around.  If we are there in that 1 or 10 things, we will give them everything they will ever need.

By the way, my son has LD (Learning Disability) in Reading, Writing and Spelling.  It was a tough one for my little man, but slowly and little by little we are defeating these dragons in his life together.

Your thoughts? Do share! I would love to help.

Full-time Job or Full-time Mom?

I love my time with my son

 I was just speaking to a very good mom friend of mine, who used to be in an 8+-hour job for 20 years. She said that when she traded off her career to become a full-time mom for her 2 kids she felt more accomplished than ever before.

Coming from someone who held a very good career in a well-known company in the world, a salary that is more than enough to support the family, and several other good career offers she was given even if she decided to resign from work - that is a breath of fresh air to someone who wants to be assured that there is life after letting go of job "security".

My twins proved that I can be blessed to love more!

Nowadays, there are more mothers needing to work because having a single income won't be enough to fill in all the expenses of the family.  History shows that divorce rate went up when women started working during the war and plunged down when the men went back home.  But, steadily moved up when women started working again and have to leave the children. Divorce affects families and the kids are the victims.

When moms are not with the children during their growing years, kids are not protected by the world.  They are like little birds without a mother in their nest. They learn to lead lives based on situations or what other people, peers, and the media would show them. They are independently away from the family. They tend to become busy themselves which they see from their parents. Parents fight or get into conflict out of fatigue and burnout of work and the kids see that it is okay to be mad and hurtful when someone is tired.

Mom's are guardians of her children's values.  The father may be out for work, but mother's are there for the children.

I am not pertaining to single mom's who cannot leave her job for her children. Some are wonderful and hardworking. Becoming both a father and a mother at the same time is not a simple job to do.

But, mom's who have more time for their 8+-hour job, have more coffee break, lunch and after-work conversations with her colleagues than her children or a mother of  a toddler left in the care of a nanny who hurts her child without even knowing it or her 10 year old who secretly hides that he is being bullied because he feels that he has to stand up for himself is something I feel so sad about.

We cannot leave our children in the wild if we are not there to show them how. I was watching a show how a family of Dingo (a wild dog that is native to Australia) and saw how the parents protect their young from an eagle who preys on little Dingos.  When the pups were little, they let them out during the day, hunts for them, feeds them. When night falls, they carry each one back inside their den. When the Dingos grew and were weaned out from the mom's milk, they were still there together with the parents but the parents are less weary now of the eagle knowing naturally that the Dingos can defend their own.  The eagle eventually, stopped stalking on them.  But, even this time, the dad was teaching them dominance and hunting instincts. As they grow to a little bit of an adult dingo, they moved out and started their own adventure without their parents.  Sounds unfamiliar now, right? Now, bullied kids are told by their parents to learn how to fend themselves without even showing them how.  They don't have anyone to look up to, so they find it on their own alone.

She can trust that mommy will be there to catch her

It was a big decision for me to decide to become a full-time mom. I worked in a 8+-hour job while my eldest was growing but I feel just blessed because my husband maintains a business that he can work at home and look after our son.  Leaving our children to a family member is a lot better than leaving them with a stranger.  But, we have to be aware also that we have to leave the disciplining to the family member when we, parent's are away.  We must also be aware, that the position of the husband (and even the mother) in disciplining tend to become less when the sharing of the disciplining is extended to other family members.  This starts conflict between marriages because the spouse would not always agree with the in-laws way in dealing with his own children and yet having to balance respect and conflict between them. So, the child disrespects his own parents and yet listens very well to grandma. Parents are tired and just ignore their child's attitude as they don't have the energy to deal with it.  When weekend comes, the family goes out without the grandparents, the child gets excited and throws a tanrtum. Finally, they come home feeling more tired than when they went home from work. So the mom concludes, I cannot be a full time mom.  I love my career and having to stay with my child 24/7 is definitely, not my thing.

It may not be financially fulfilling but money can never buy time - your child's time.

I cannot blame you, I felt that way. The more time you give to anything to whom you love the more it gives back to you. If you give more time to your work, the more you are rewarded - the more time you need to be in the office, the less time you will know your child.  But, the more you give to your child, the more you know his wants and dislikes, what works and what doesn't.  It is so funny, but I laugh now at the thought that my mom gets more tired of seeing me juggle 3 kids when I was just breezing through it.  I cannot blame her, she worked in an office till I was 13 and works-at-home till now. That is why, she has more fun enjoying her grandchildren.

Juggling 2 on both hands

I stand in a position that mothers are supposed to be the pillars of her children's values.  She should see her child grow not through pictures on her social media accounts or a baby picture on her office desk then suddenly realizes how big her little son has grown to be.  It would be nice that mothers know how to handle when her child is about to start a fit and can manage it right away.  Mothers should teach manners and independence in a loving way. She can withstand her children's annoying mess, spills to clean, cries and screams. After everything has been said and done of childhood, she finally lets him go. Being secured that she has brought up a person after God's own heart.

There is no wasted time to a full-time mom. She never feels like her kids are "just suddenly" growing so fast.  She is their witness of her children's life.  Opportunities open up to her like crazy doing a business she loves and the children gets to see meet people because of it and are more confident and well-mannered. She starts life at 4:30am and ends on time.

We are all tired, but the difference is how accomplished do you feel with your family and your time.

When I was once in my 8+ hours full time job I got this thought that made me decide to jump: I feel accomplished having to launch a really big project at work, we get a reward for the overtime work done. Rewarded with bonuses and promotions (sometimes, none). Although, during those times, my child got sick and I couldn't be there.  The guilt and the worry was more than doubled than when I can be with my child. That project was all gone and replaced, but what I still have now and forever will be my child and the rewards are tremendous. That wasn't a hard choice for me since then.

Live simply and you will never have to want anything more than what you need.

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If you are in a situation where it is in your heart to be a full-time mom but having to let go of your job will cause your family a big financial distress, then pray and let God direct your days to freedom.

On the other hand, if you are a full-time mom and the need to go back to full-time job is a necessity and not an escape from the chaos of home, then by all means - go! You will be wiser in dealing with your time and you know that family is priority.

On a different note, a full-time mom doesn't have to look sloppy and ugly.  Just because no one is going to see you, doesn't give you a license to turn into a hag-looking mother that smells like onions. Dress great, put on make-up, wear good shoes. Be beautiful inside and out.

Share your thoughts, can you relate with being a full-time mom or being a mom in a full-time job?