It is real and inevitable. Twin shock comes after you bring them home from the hospital and will last till about they are 12 months of age.
I had no one who can actually tell me the best way to handle 2 newborn babies at the same time. My only background was with my firstborn singleton son.
The 1st few days after we brought them home were freaking nights of nightmare. As I believe entirely in attachment parenting, following babies cue, no strict rules or schedule, birth bonding, and some of it. I knew that I could actually do that with my twins - but to my surprise I wasn't all okay for twins at all.
During the 1st few days I literally had no sleep at all. I was bottle feeding at night with formula, pumping my milk at day which even if I save some, the twins would eventually finish it off 2 hours after I pump, so I pump again and do direct feeding with the other, pump again and do direct feeding after doing this, I was literally almost about to snap. I was so tired doing all those just so I could stop them from crying and still following their cues.
Then I figure.. so, this is twin shock. I believe, even new moms (especially dads) would feel this in their own way. After the peaceful new marriage, honeymoon and an excited pregnancy... here goes the new baby who needs all the love and attention from the world.
After a few weeks, I realize one thing. Newborns need structure and flexible routine but with twin babies, this is such a novelty.
I advocate reasonable attachment parenting, meaning... I don't agree with letting it cry it out, but I do let my kids sleep on their own cribs/beds and let them sleep on their own. I also don't agree with putting babies in scheduled milk patterns, I do believe that when infants cry it would either just be hungry, need change/uncomfortable, too much stimulus, just want a cuddle or is sick.
But, with twin... it is entirely almost impossible to do attachment parenting when you are still attending to one baby while the other is already needing a feed or something else. I have learned to just calm myself down, let her cry a little bit more while the other twin finishes her milk. It is extremely hard because, with my eldest son... I have never let him cried so hard because I am there right where he even starts to cry.
Well, that is how it is with twins and that is one thing a twin mom/parent would experience - to be very systematic and a multi-tasker! Keep calm and just carry on - is the key!
Another twin-shock stoppers would be to trying to complicate things! When the twins we're still twinfants, I kept a milk journal which I also made sure that my nanny would strictly write on it. Otherwise, it is war! You have to know when, who was fed the last time and how much. With my twins, one is a weak feeder unlike the other. So the milk journal keeps me sane!
To simplify things, I have also stopped using different utensils with them. When they started their solids, I would make a huge batch of their weekly meal, freeze them and feed it to them. I initially used separate spoons to feed them to a point that it would just fall off the floor and make a huge mess. Later on, 1 spoon and 1 feeding bowl and even sippy cup would do well. Anyway, why should I be too anxious on sharing when they almost literally share everything they play on, move and breathe on.
I have also used different colored bottles for them to know which bottle is whom. Until now, it is a perpetuating confusion which bottle belongs to. Good thing, rubber bands around the neck works with similar looking bottles. What is more complicated now is I use a lactose-free milk for the other twin because she has a milk allergy. So, we even needed to buy a different kind of milk dispenser for that. Be prepared for anything like it.
Another twin shock is twin rivalry! The most important thing is, never take sides or never have a favorite, least favorite twin. They may look the same but each one is unique and beautiful in their own way.
When you experience twin shock, just go out for awhile (I do this, around 5 minutes). Go out of the house and just let it all out there for awhile then come back inside once again to your babies!
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